Why do we feel the need for victim-blaming?
This question has been stuck in my head for days now. Why do we blame the survivors who are just trying to do their best, just hanging on, holding on by a thread? We never blame a murder victim for being around a murderer, then why do we feel the need to blame rape survivors or acid attack survivors or sexual assault survivors, or JUST survivors? Why do they need to explain every traumatic injury and terrifying moment from the worst moments of their lives, over and over and over again?
You know the answer. You know it because you have either felt it or you have done it. You gave the defense statement more importance. You ignored what she said. You made it a ‘he said she said’ situation. And this is not the end of it.
Another astonishing example of this is Cyberbullying. When someone tells you they are being bullied online, you need to understand their story. You cannot take it lightly saying ‘Did he show up at your house?’ He doesn’t need to, okay? We need to understand that a person does not have to be in front of you to bully you or harass you. Also, do not tell them to relax and take this lightly like it’s just a joke; fucking, no. It is not. There is a reason that there are laws against it.
We all know someone who has been through something like this and I want to say that, they are not victims. They are survivors. No matter how small the issue, we don’t know how it messes with a person. We don’t know their story, we don’t know their pain, we don’t know what goes inside their head when they see warning signs. If we can’t help them we don’t get to blame them. There are no two sides here, just one — the survivors.